College is a time for self-discovery, and the relationships we make throughout it can shape us just as much as classes and career goals do. College relationships can be exciting with late-night dorm conversations and long-distance calls over the summer, but they can also be confusing and overwhelming. Sometimes these relationships can look like friendships with blurred lines, other times, they are serious commitments that last after graduation. No matter what they appear to be, they very rarely fit into one category.
This article dives into the reality of the different types of dating in college: confusing situationships, study date romances, long-distance challenges, and everything in between. We will also look into how the experiences from these relationships influence not just our love lives, but also the people we are becoming.
Situationships in College Dating: Why They’re Everywhere
In college today, one of the most common relationship types is the situationship. It is not a friendship, but also not a relationship, it is something in between. They often involve spending a lot of time together with growing attraction. Plenty of “what are we?” conversations occur that never get answered.
With them being so confusing, why are situationships so common? College is a major transition period for most students. Most students are learning how to live on their own for the first time while juggling classes, internships, extracurriculars, and new friendships. Committing to a full relationship can feel overwhelming, but staying just friends is not enough for the connection felt. Because of this, situationships become the middle ground.
They can be fun, flexible, and low-pressure, but they can also leave one or both people confused or emotionally stuck. Situationships may seem negative, but they allow students the chance to test boundaries, explore, and figure out what works best for them.
Study Dates and College Relationships: From Homework to Heartbreak
A lot of situationships spring from the classic study date. Study dates start with two students in the same class working together to pass their classes. What starts with two people in a library talking about work can quickly turn into something a lot more.
Study dates can blur the line between productivity and intimacy. They are relationships that can form because they are convenient, low-pressure, and fall into the everyday life of a college student. Study partners are people that understand you. They have to take the same exams and complete the same homework, they are each other’s emotional support.
However, the challenge lies in boundaries. When every study break becomes a “date,” students may find themselves distracted or over-reliant on one another. Dating, whether intentional or not, has to be balanced with academics. Without balance, grades might begin to slip. After all, is a late-night cuddle more important than passing your midterms?
Long-Distance College Relationships: Can Love Survive the Distance?
Another defining phase of a college relationship is long-distance. These relationships could be your high school sweetheart who goes to another school or they just have gone home for the summer. Either way, what once felt easy now becomes a test of patience, trust, and communication.
While long distance is never something a couple wants to go through, it helps them to develop many skills. You have to learn how to communicate effectively through texts and calls, maintain trust, and manage differing time zones. Some couples may thrive, seeing long-distance as an essential part to building their relationship, while others may feel loneliness or temptation from their social lives.
Regardless of the outcome, long-distance relationships allow for students to learn and grow. Even if the relationship ends, they will have learned how to communicate more effectively and have a more clear sense of what they need in a partner.
Heartbreak in College Dating: How Students Move Forward
No conversation about college dating is complete without addressing breakups. In college, they can be especially devastating if your ex lives in your dorm, shares a class with you, or even has the same friends.
Breakups in college feel more public and more complicated than in high school relationships, because they are. No matter how large a campus is, there is still bound to be awkward run-ins. No one starts looking at their phone faster than someone about to walk past their ex on the way to class.
Heartbreak in the moment always feels like it will never end, but it will, and it will teach you to be stronger than before. They allow you to lean on your friends like you might not have otherwise. When the pain finally ends, the healing begins. It allows for an opportunity of self-reflection and self-growth that help us develop into the person we want to become.
The Role of Social Media
No matter what stage of your relationship, social media has changed how we navigate them. No matter dating or just friends, the first time you post with someone and it looks flirty, it will be talked about. With the amount of apps everyone uses, no relationship is private. Even after a couple’s breakup, outsiders will begin looking into who unfollowed who and whether or not pictures have been taken down. Social media is the biggest way to see the start of a relationship and to find out about the end.
There are two kinds of couples online: the ones who non-stop post each other and the ones who post their significant other on rare occasions. No matter what category you fall into, people will always have something to say. When someone posts their partner too much, people see them as co-dependent, but if they never post them, people think that they do not want others to know they’re dating.
With the harsh role social media plays in relationships, it’s best to not let it pressure you. A relationship is between two people, and the love shared with each other does not have to be proven online.
The Tea App and College Dating: Reputation, Loyalty, and Trust
Beyond the traditional social media apps, students are beginning to take new approaches to relationships on campus. One example is The Tea, a platform that allows for women to anonymously write reviews of the men at their college. These reviews are done for guys in relationships and who are single, and they talk about the qualities of these men.
The Tea allows for girls to write positive reviews, “green flags” or negative reviews, “red flags”. When a guy has more red flags than green, it is supposed to signal that girls need to stay away.
While it can build a community of girls being able to post about shared experiences, it can also tear relationships apart. With it being an anonymous app, people can post whatever they want about a person, no matter if it is true or not. Responses can be exaggerated or anger, but can cause long term damage to relationships. For many, the app reflects both the promise and the pitfalls of mixing dating culture with digital platforms.
Friendships that Turn Into More
Another unique aspect of college relationships is friendships that turn into something deeper. Because college is specialization focused, many of us are in the same classes, clubs, and dorms as our peers. With the amount of time spent with some of the friends we make, it’s natural for them to develop into something more.
The relationships are either rewarding or risky. They can help to build a strong foundation of trust and shared experiences, but they can also ruin a good friendship if they do not work out. If the relationship ends, there can still be a chance of becoming friends again, but it is never the same as before.
These bonds, whether romantic or platonic, highlight the importance of connection during a time when students are building their adult identity.
The Pressure to Figure College Relationships Out
One challenge many students face is the pressure to think that all of their college relationships will last forever. Between parents asking questions during breaks, friends speculating about who’s dating whom, and the constant comparisons on social media, it can feel like everyone is watching. But the truth is, in college, you don’t need to have everything figured out. Sometimes short-term relationships are what help us grow most of all, and they will guide us to our forever ones.
Conclusion
College relationships can be confusing, unpredictable, and unforgettable. From situationships to heartbreaks, every experience adds another layer to our college journey. All college relationships might not look the same, but you or someone you know has most likely gone through one that is complicated. No matter how the relationship works out, they allow for the development of who we are as people.
So whether you’re navigating your first campus crush or healing from a tough breakup, remember, you’re not just learning about others, you’re learning about yourself. And that’s one lesson no textbook can teach.
Take this quiz to find out if your relationship is actually a situationship.
