There is always that one influencer or celebrity that we feel close to for some reason. It could be a singer whose lyrics have helped us through a hard time, a fictional character that feels like an old friend, or an influencer whose voice soothes you. These connections are called parasocial relationships.
We don’t know them, they don’t know us, yet we still feel like they understand us somehow.
These relationships are a one-sided connection we feel with someone we know through screens. With the rise of the digital age, these bonds have become common in our everyday lives.
What Is a Parasocial Relationship?
Donald Horton and Richard Wohl are two sociologists who coined the term ‘parasocial relationship’ in the 1950s. The term was used to describe the illusion of intimacy that people began feeling for public figures, such as movie stars and TV hosts.
At their core, they are one-sided relationships where the common person invests attention, time, and emotion into someone who does not know they exist.
Streaming sites like TikTok, Twitch, and YouTube have caused these relationships to evolve more than ever. We not only watch these people, but we can also interact with them. They allow people to make videos aimed directly at these celebrities or write comments in the hope they will see them. With the possibility of the other person seeing what we post, it can make the intimacy we experience feel mutual – usually it isn’t.
Why We Get Attached in Parasocial Relationships
Are brains are wired for social bonding and finding connections, which is why parasocial connections occur. When a public figure becomes vulnerable about a topic or situation, watchers take it in as if it is a real interaction.
It is not strange, it’s human. Parasocial relationships allow us to find comfort in other people’s lives. They are constant; the love we think we perceive never feels distant like it can in real-life friendships.
The Benefits of Parasocial Relationships
In moderation, parasocial relationships are not bad for us. When balance is created between real-life and parasocial relationships, they can be psychologically beneficial.
1. Comfort and Companionship
Following a creator’s journey, no matter what it might be, can bring familiarity. Watching a person’s growth and perseverance can help when viewers feel lonely or isolated.
2. Representation and Validation
People who speak about tough topics such as mental health awareness can help fans feel seen. When we are going through stuff, we do not always feel like we can go to others, so instead we turn to someone who speaks on the same things we have been through. It helps us to know that we are not alone.
3. Community and Belonging
Fandoms can change one-sided connections into friendships. When people band together over a shared interest or experience, they can foster genuine friendships.
4. Inspiration and Motivation
Watching people online work towards a goal and complete it can help their viewers feel motivated to do the same.
When the Line Blurs in Parasocial Relationships
But like any form of attachment, people can become too attached to the people on their screens.
Over-Identification
Sometimes, fans can merge their personality with that of a person they admire. When TikTok first came out, there were a lot of celebrity doppelgangers who became famous. While some people made a few videos about it, some made it their entire personality. They could not be themselves online; they took over the personality of someone else.
Dependency
Because parasocial relationships are only one-sided, they can cause a decline in emotional health without us realizing. If we rely on the comfort of these public figures, it can cause real-life relationships to fade. This can cause us to not feel supported, and for our emotional health to decline.
Boundary Issues
The negative effects of these relationships are not just for the followers of these influencers. Creators can also face challenges. With content building intimacy, fans can become attached. This can lead to an invasion of privacy, and no part of their personal life is private.
The Role of Pop Culture on Parasocial Relationships
Parasocial relationships have always shaped pop culture, from Beatlemania to the Swifities, social media just amplifies it.
Before social media existed, there were a lot of people who did not know what their favorite artists looked like, other than what was on an album cover. Now, the press does not need to announce what is going on in their personal lives because they will post it themselves. Some influencers have built their entire brand on their vulnerability.
It isn’t just us that have these parasocial relationships; influencers can experience them with celebrities more famous than they are. An example of this would be Jenn Tran. During her time on Dancing With the Stars, her dance on dedication night was attributed to Taylor Swift because of the impact she has had on her life. To learn more about her dedication, here is an interview she did talking about it.
How to Keep Parasocial Relationships Healthy
If you maintain balance and awareness, you do not have to cut ties with your favorite characters; you can coexist.
1. Recognize the Reality:
You can appreciate the inspiration and comfort these relationships can bring, but remember that they are one-sided.
2. Balance Screen Time with real Life
Make sure to nurture your relationships that work both ways, not just ones you feel with people on a screen.
3. Avoid Comparision
What people post online is not always authentic. Make sure not to compare yourself to people who make money off people connecting with them and watching their content.
4. Respect Boundaries
Public figures deserve privacy just as much as a private person. It might seem that it does not matter because their lives are online, but they sometimes also need breaks from the spotlight.
What Parasocial Relationships Reveal About Us
Parasocial relationships sometimes develop because of a longing for connection. They show us that we crave understanding and empathy, even if that means it is through a screen.
They can also show us the power of storytelling. Whether you get connected to influencers sharing life stories or you become attached to a fictional character in a movie. It is not a weakness; it shows that you care and that you are looking for a sense of connection.
Final Thoughts On Parasocial Relationships
Parasocial relationships may seem fake, but they are very real. These people we do not know can make us laugh, cry, and make us feel seen, all from behind a screen. They can be healthy when they do not consume us.
There is nothing to be ashamed of when finding comfort in stories, songs, characters, or strangers online. The world can be a lonely place, and connection is something all people naturally seek, no matter if it is through a screen or in person.
